Sep 13

Teen suicide is a much bigger problem than you are aware of, I’ll bet.

Why is this?

The media, for one, has a responsibility to keep some of the more frightening and disturbing aspects of suicide very low-key… statistics show that, after a news story about a suicide, the number of suicides goes unnaturally higher for a time.
Same with things like spree killings, or racial attacks…

It seems that by publicizing a deviant or taboo behavior, the media manages to validate the behavior for those who might already be struggling with
the desire to act out.

Result?

Less is made of the shocking truths about teen suicide than perhaps should be. For example:

  • The third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds is suicide.
  • Every day, more than 80 Americans commit suicide- and 1500 more attempt it.
  • America lost more teens to suicide last year than the total number of soldiers lost in the Iraq war.

Don’t you think this problem might be taking more seriously if more people could be made aware of these facts?
While it is not the intent of the Impact Team to shower the media with these chilling statistics, we do feel it is vital to bring more awareness to this quiet killer.

Some of the obstacles we’re facing as a society in dealing with teen suicide…

“Not MY Child…”

Sometimes as parents we tend to deny with our mind what our heart is telling us. There are obvious indicators in almost all cases of suicide attempts.
(A comprehensive list of warning signs can be found on this website.)

  • It may be that we feel personally responsible for our child’s happiness and well being, and refuse to accept what we see when our teen seems unhappy, maladjusted, or withdrawn.
  • It may be that we don’t connect with our teen at a level that is comfortable for them.
  • It may be that we tried too hard to be the enforcer, or tried too hard to be the friend, and didn’t get the balance right.

Whatever the case- as a parent we have a duty, born of love, to listen and respond to the needs of our children… even when the need is communicated in an unspoken way.

We must be sure to be accepting - of our shortcomings and our childrens’.

The ‘Troubled Teen’ Years

I was there. You were there… Remember that awful confusion as bones stretched, hormones changed, teeth shifted, social pressures grew tenfold while your social skills grew in tiny increments?
Some of the struggles of simply being a teen can mirror the struggles of a teen thinking suicidal thoughts. Feeling left out, not pretty, not good at sports, not smart enough… these are depressing issues for a teenager.

I know I may have said it out loud a couple of times when the world seemed too hard as a teen: “I wish I were dead.” Now, I never had a real suicidal moment in my life- but I felt a lot of despair in my time.

Because these years are already so emotionally volatile, it can be a real challenge to spot these warning signs for what they really are.

We must strive to be aware - of what our children are facing and feeling.

Who To Turn To

Teens themselves have a hard time understanding their feelings, let alone communicating them to someone else! Often coming from an “everybody hates me, nobody gets me, no one understands” place, a teen considering suicide has already more than likely decided there are few, if any, people that are trustworthy enough to reach out to. In many cases, it might be another teen– who may not be equipped to help- who is the potential lifeline for a suicidal teen.

A teen in trouble may want to reach out, but have no real knowledge of where to turn. This is another one of our jobs. To be available and accessible.

The Impact Action team, and the family it is building, hopes to accomplish many things on this journey.

Two of our primary goals are:

  1. A greater awareness of the severity of this silent killer, and
  2. To offer to anyone the following simple plan for proactively and positively creating IMPACT in your daily life, using the GIVE method:
  • Greet-say hello, make eye contact, pass a smile on to the people you encounter.
  • Include- Include yourself in the world around you, and invite others to be a part of what you are doing. Reach out, especially if you see someone starting to withdraw.
  • Validate- This can be as simple as a ‘thank you’ or a genuine complement. Let others know you
    appreciate them.
  • Empathize- Be a listening ear. We can’t always relate to the problems or stories of another, but often all you need to do is be fully present as you hear them to truly help the person sharing!

Honestly, use this simple acronym to remember what you can do every day to make a difference and perhaps save a life!

Each of us needs all of us… and all of us need each of us.

Keith deBolt-
Impact Action Team

Keith teaches new marketers and business owners how to think, live and work like The Boss…watch for his upcoming book, “Oh, No! I’m The BOSS!”.  Keith can be found at: marketingstep1.com and TheMarketerMindset.com

Sep 12

When you grow up with someone, you take them for granted. They are a part of your life, and their part in your life is filled with joys and sorrows as kids tend to go from angelic to mischievous depending on the weather.

My cousin Dany would have been 43 on July 12th.

I spent most of my waking hours with Dany and his older brother Christian exploring, pretending and running from each other. Chris and I used to run away from Dany most of the time, since older kids tend to be cruel to the youngest.

Then we grew up and went our separate ways. I moved from Pennsylvania to Florida, Chris moved to California and Dany moved to Cancun, Mexico. The distance did not help us keep in touch with each other, and I having been a loner most of my life, I was not one for initiating conversations, writing letters, etc.

I did hear more from Chris than I did from Dany, and one day, February 1, 2003, I heard from my parents that Dany had taken his own life after he had discovered that he had cancer of the larynx.

Shock was not the only thing I felt.

Guilt.

I should have been there for him. We all believe that we can make it on our own, and then when someone you know, someone close as a brother, takes their own life, you wonder what effect you could have had.

What impact could I have had?

Beating myself up for the lack of communication, I really sank into a depression. The worst part of the whole situation for me was the fact that I should have maintained contact with Dany.

Why am I dredging up these raw emotions and exposing them for you? Then answer is really only one word:

LISTEN.

Hear what your friends and family are saying. You may have some troubled teens in your family. Teens are at a point in their lives where they feel isolated. They want to feel independent, yet they also feel left out from their friends’ lives because of cruelty (kids are cruel after all - especially groups) or disagreements. The reason for their isolation does not matter nearly as much as the fact that it is eating away at their will to live.

Sometimes (I have had this feeling before in a particularly troubling time of isolation from my family and despair at my circumstances) they feel that their life is not worth living, the pain is too unbearable, and that by taking their own life, they would be getting revenge on the people who make them feel so isolated.

“That’ll show them!”

Listen to them.

Then GIVE!

  • G - Greet and meet: talk to others, smile, say hello, ask them how they are doing…
  • I - Involve yourself: find a cause you can support, volunteer, and pledge resources to
  • V - Validate others: tell others that they matter - especially family members and friends that you tend to see daily but may take for granted, give genuine compliments
  • E - Empathize: be a listening ear, take time to be fully present, don’t try to solve - just acknowledge someone’s feeling or hurt

By following this formula, you are showing teens that you care. Empathy is a catalyst for bonding, and can help you reel in the teen that has started to distance himself or herself from the world around them.

I cannot profess to be an expert, but the people at SpeakUpSaveLives.org like Deremiah Phillips have shown me what taking an extra minute with someone who may just need a smile can do for that person! The goal for our group is to save our teens one at a time. But I have selfishly added my own agenda to this project.

I am doing it because I still miss Dany Savoie!

Have an amazing day!

Micheal Savoie

PS - You can help in another way. The Impact Action Team has people blogging and getting the word out. But how about if we reward some of you hard working readers out there?

The Impact Contest is a chance for you to get the word out for us by creating some information pages on some very search engine friendly websites while competing for some cool prizes from some very cool sponsors! If you don’t mind doing some research and doing some writing and posting for us, click here to sign up for the Impact Contest!

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Micheal Savoie escaped from the IT world to find his online goldmine! He teaches business owners how to take their business from “just being online” to building strong relationships within their communities. His favorite topic to speak about is how to create a self-funding advertising budget. He lives in Beverly Hills, Florida with his wife, Karen and his three teenage daughters. Find out more at http://michealsavoie.com

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